Some would say women, in modern day society, are the new players when it comes to dating. Obviously, when speaking on this subject the trend is what is being conjured, not individuals. In regards to this trend, it seems as though women aren’t looking for romantic love like men once thought they did. Instead many women have replaced old fashion romance with a good paying job, a dog as a child and a group of friends and distractions to keep them busy.
One big piece of this trend is technology and the social media applications that have turned dating in modern times into a cumbersome spectacle, making it especially hard and frustrating for most men who don’t fit the perfect mold that these women have been sold on. This notion is that the prospective man (especially in metropolitan areas) has to have a 6-figure paying job, be handsome, tall, athletic, have a great and supportive family and lots of friends and status to go along with it for a woman to be interested. In many cases, if there is even one personality flaw that the woman thinks she detects the man might have, more often than not she will quickly run to the next could-be prince charming. Most would agree that only about 8 years ago most women waited until a man had the courage to talk to them. Now all a woman has to do is post some sexy pics of herself on social media and in most cases, will have a stock full of men lining up to date her and be absolutely overloaded with messages and intimate opportunities almost as if she was a celebrity. Typically, the guy she chooses is lucky just to be able to even take her out, let alone talk with her. In many instances, while she is dating this so called “lucky guy” she will have one, if not many plan B’s should this current guy not match her tall order. She might even decide to use a break-up app that creates an email, text or snapchat break-up message for a price anywhere from $5 to $80.
On the flip side, some would also say that men in today’s culture are not looking for a monogamous relationship and just want to find the best-looking women to have a “hook up” with by conveniently swiping right on the hottest candidates they see. This new age of meeting has created a dangerous and vicious cycle of the chase. The excuse is that we live such busy/typing lifestyles that we have no time to meet each other in a more natural environment where real connection can have better chance of coming into fruition. Our culture seems to promote living in this fantasy matrix of instant gratification and cheap thrills where we post the best filtered pics on Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook, only showing a facade of “the good life” rather than spending quality time with friends face-to-face without distraction, leaving that phone at home or in the car. Instead we swipe right and order a date from the comfortability of our phone, without the essential old school communication skills or organic meeting situations that we as humans really yearn for. This concept that either sex can just go swiping or DM messaging on other social media platforms and find someone else if things don’t work out with the person one is currently dating, have made our human relationships disposable commodities These apps not only know that, they financially benefit from it.
As kids, we were sold this dream through entertainment and advertising, that being rich and successful while having the perfect partner who doesn’t have any flaws is protocol and expected to come easily. In reality, more and more, this is an almost impossible goal, that one can spend their whole lives trying to chase. There is a disconnect between the sexes and a major shift that is and has been happening for years now and that shift is the dehumanization and desensitization of humanity where material wealth and status takes precedent over real human connection and love. Dating sites, social media and status quo are literally pimping us out for this dream of luxury that has been planted in our heads from day one. For some of us we are lucky enough to obtain this dream but for most of us we are like hamsters in a cage running in a wheel that doesn’t lead us anywhere but to the next swipe and or paycheck.
I say live in the now, use your phone selectively and only when needed, take a break from online dating and social media apps, call your friends instead of texting them or Facebook messaging them, join communities of like-minded people wherever you can, even if it’s just a meditation class, a yoga class or a music festival for starters. Do what you’re passionate about and the little things that make you feel good every day. Hopefully along that path you will find what you’re looking for. Bless.
